Christian Community

I am currently in a small group through church doing a book called 40 Days of Community. We are supposed to read a section each day, which as of yet I have not done. I read the first 6 sections before our first group, and tonight is our second and I still have to do the reading. But, on Sunday we were discussing what we get out of being a part of a community rather than just following God on our own. There were the "happy things" like support, help and encouragement. But there was also the part of being held accountable for your actions and choices, which conflicts with our Western, independent thinking.

It occurred to me, that often in life, being the self-centered humans that we are, we desire the encouragement, help and support, yet we don't want to be held accountable for our choices. But that isn't really possible, at least, not in a healthy relationship. They come together. If I accept the support of a friend, I also have to be able and willing to hear them when they have something to say about my life.

This is why we should choose our friends wisely. This is why we need Christian community. It is vital that I have friendships with people who hold the same moral and religious beliefs that I hold so that if I make a "wrong turn" and start heading down a path which is not good for me, and does not hold up to the beliefs that I profess to believe, they can hold me accountable.

I think that there are times in my life when I don't see clearly. There are times that I need someone outside of myself to reflect back to me what I am doing and how that will effect, not only my life, but the life of my family as well.

There are two things that I see must happen in order for this to work the way God intended.
1) I have to be honest with the people with whom I am in close relationship. I must be able to answer about my whole life, not with everyone, but with a few people who I trust. These people, in order to reflect back truthfully on my life, have to know all of the pieces.
2) I need to learn how to hear what my friends have to say and not become defensive. Does this mean that I will always agree with what they have to say, or do what they think I should do. No. But I must give it serious consideration. I must be honest with myself about my own motivations, choices and the possible consequences.

Now this definitely brings up the question of boundaries. I am also reading a book about boundaries. We will see how the two studies combine.
How do I have functioning boundaries and be a member in a community?
Where do I identify myself with the whole and where do I identify myself as an individual?
I'm sure there will be more to come on this topic. I would welcome your thoughts.